Post #12: 24/7 Cooper care for Nana

Sunday, November 11, 2018

This would be the first day of 24/7 Cooper care for our 2 year-old grandson at our home in Weston, Massachusetts. Cooper had arrived with his mother Stacy from Fiji late Thursday night, so we had spent only two full waking days with both of them before Stacy left for her week-long meeting in Belize. Stacy and Cooper had slept together, as they often do in Fiji anyway (no editorial comment from Nana here) in the queen bed of our upstairs guest room for the past three nights

Early Sunday morning Jesse, always the early riser, had no problem leaving by 5:30 am to drive Stacy to Boston Logan Airport, as I remained asleep in our ground floor master bedroom … until I roused at 6 am or so, realized the airport ride had left, but could not unconcernedly fall back to sleep as I wondered if/how I would hear Cooper when he awoke. As I sleepily debated with myself for about a ½ hour as to whether I should fully wake to check on my grandson, I finally realized that Cooper was actually asleep in bed with me, Stacy having place him there with some pillows propped to prevent his rolling off. My obliviousness to Cooper’s presence might sound strange but it is a roomy king-size bed which is commonly inhabited by lumpy dogs. With my grandson occasionally making some sleepy rumblings but evidencing no imminent sign of awakening, I could ease into my day.

Since Cooper was sleeping late, being off–schedule and jet-lagged from his recent Fiji arrival, I could manage my usual morning activities, tending to the basics of personal care, kitchen organization and laundry needs. I appreciated having some Cooper-free morning time as I had no idea what I might be able to accomplish once I was caring for a fully roused toddler. I had already learned that Cooper is typically slow to wake and often likes to nurse a bottle of milk to start his day. I was prepared for all that, but was realistically concerned how a wakened Cooper would react to his mother’s having left, as she literally had “flown the Coop.”

But I was pleasantly surprised that Cooper did not fuss about his mom’s absence when he fully awoke. When I had babysat for Cooper the prior spring, I had to avoid mentioning “mommy” so as not to upset him. But since then Stacy had gone on enough business trips, leaving Cooper with his dad and/or babysitters. So I suppose a temporarily absent mommy was not so unusual to him anymore. He wasn’t that interested in a morning bottle either, which was explained when I eventually communicated with traveling Stacy. Cooper had been up so much in the night that she had given him multiple bottles and banana snacks. Of course, lots of drinking in the night leads to lots of peeing. I remembered to change Cooper’s night diaper as soon as he awoke, finding a dampness right through his pajamas and onto my sheets. Fortunately, in advance of Cooper’s arrival, I had added a waterproof sheet to any beds in which I thought he might be sleeping, including mine.

Cooper was happy to ease into his day in the family room, being entertained by successive Sesame Street episodes. I was committed to making pancakes for breakfast, which I had rarely made of late but certainly had flipped many in the days of my kids’ youth. Cooper often eats pancakes at home but mine, although sweetly coated with natural maple syrup, were minimally consumed, which I attributed to much nighttime snacking. Our dog Oliver, who had very quickly learned to hover near Cooper for dropping food, was thrilled to eat any leftovers.

In our chilly Boston month of November, getting dressed for indoors included foot coverings, rather than bare feet that Cooper was used to at home. Although he was very cooperative about wearing socks at Nana & Papa’s house, we had soon noticed how slippery socks could be, and potentially hazardous, when running across the tile and hardwood floors of our common areas. So the bear paw slippers, that I had purchased at Gap Kids because they looked so adorable, turned out to be even better than I imagined because of their rubber soles. And Cooper liked to wear them, contributing to a wardrobe success story for Nana and Cooper.

As Sunday was our first day without Stacy, Jesse would fortunately be home all day to be on back-up Cooper duty with me. We had a plan for the morning to take Cooper to nearby Drumlin Farm, a working and educational farm that had been open to the public since our kids were young. Although I had not been there since then, I continued to be a member of Massachusetts Audubon Society which manages the farm. I remembered to stock the goes-everywhere-Cooper-goes diaper bag with diapers (of course), wipes, extra clothes, water & milk bottles, snacks and toys. I decided to forego my typical handbag for a backpack to be more hands free. The weather was cooperating, a chilly but bright sunny November day. Cooper also cooperated and wore his aviator-style jacket that I had purchased at Costco, gloves from Target, and cute bear-eared hat that still fit from last winter’s New York visit. And I managed to get him properly fitted into his car seat, whose multiple buckles are no easy tasks for a novice nana.

Initially, we secured Cooper in the lightweight stroller (with more buckles to snugly snap) but fairly soon he was released, to run along all the pathways, fire truck in hand, attracted to the fenced sheep in pastures. We also viewed goats and pigs, but Cooper was scared to closely approach large cows along the fence. He particularly liked watching the many pens of chickens, more his size, I suppose. For both Jesse and I, it was a successful dual-grandparenting morning, both educational and active enough that Cooper dozed off in the car on the way home.

Cooper meeting the sheep at Drumlin Farm

As Stacy had done on prior home arrivals, we carried Cooper from the car into the house to continue his nap. I hoped that our little fella would be down for a while so I took the sleeping child opportunity to make a quick trip to the market to re-supply the house. Giving Jesse instructions in case Cooper might arouse and reminding him that he could call my mobile phone, I tried to make a very short shopping trip. I was admittedly relieved that Cooper never awoke during my absence as I was not confident that Jesse was comfortable being completely alone with his wakened grandson.

Checking on Cooper’s schedule, dear local friends Michael and Nancy stopped by later Sunday afternoon to meet mini-Cooper, as they always had referred to our grandson since his birth. They loaned us a large colorful activity box which Nancy had purchased at Home Goods last summer for their visiting two year-old granddaughter. Nancy patiently showed Cooper the many ways to play with the toy, pointing out its musical buttons, dials, telephone and letter blocks. Eventually, all Cooper wanted to do with the toy was to throw the blocks all over the place. And after a while I could never locate the phone that was part of the toy. At the end of Cooper’s visit when I wanted to return the busy box to the Landaus, I searched under all the furniture and cushions in the family room but the phone continued to be MIA. Fortunately, our housecleaner discovered the plastic phone in a place I had never even considered looking, far under a cabinet in the adjacent breakfast area. Toddler tossed toys travel far!

Nancy showing Cooper how to play with the busy box

We kept a simple plan for our first evening alone with Cooper: supper at the kitchen table, Cooper secured in the booster seat, sequestering pestering Oliver while Cooper ate, and post-dinner TV time with Cooper’s choice of Netflix for Kids in the family room to encourage winding down.

Papa Jesse playing with Cooper in the family room

No surprise that Jesse wound down much sooner than Cooper and stuck to his usually early bedtime, anticipating his normal early starting work routine for Monday.

Throughout the day, I had been considering where Cooper would sleep and with whom. Even though I would have preferred to let Cooper join Jesse and me in our roomy king-size bed in our ground floor bedroom, that scenario involved the potential issues of a waking Cooper keeping Jesse from sleep and unknown factors as to how Oliver would react to a toddler joining our nighttime ménage-a-trois. So I concluded that Cooper and I should sleep in the upstairs bedroom where he had stayed with his mother for the past three nights.

By 9 pm or so when Cooper “looked” like he was becoming sleepy, we went upstairs, making sure to bring all his bedtime necessities, critically including his constant companion monkey soother Ee-ee, a bottle of milk for now or later, and a highly opinionated Cooper selection of metal vehicles likely to impale either of us in bed. By the time I changed Cooper’s diaper and put him into pajamas, he did not seem so sleepy anymore. But I was insistent that we both stay within the confines of the queen-size bed, and shut the bedroom door in case Cooper might exit the bed while I was asleep. The bedroom television set-up did not include Netflix but fortunately had a variety of Comcast stations with children’s programming and movies. I located shows that might be of interest to Cooper, which I personally could tolerate for any length of time.

I had blocked Oliver from coming upstairs, being extra cautious about his trying to join me and Cooper in bed. Since our dog had his usual access to the marital bed with Jesse still in it, I presumed that Oliver would not mind being separated from me. Wrong! For quite some time, Oliver continued whining downstairs. But Cooper was my primary concern, so I ignored Oliver as best I could, also hoping his plaintiff vocalizations would not be waking Jesse.

So how to make Cooper settle down in bed with me? Reading books, kids television programs, favorite toys, bottle and snacks. I realized I needed to keep a selection of not too messy foods, like pretzels, for consumption in the bed for my off-schedule jetlagged grandson when he requested “yummy, yummy,” meaning he was hungry for food. It was not an easy chore to minimize rambunctiousness which would be counter-productive to sleep and potentially fraught with falling off the rather high bed. By 11 pm or so, I was certainly starting to doze off, but I can’t say the same for Cooper whose energy level seemed to increase as the night wore on. Although it was late at night at my house, recognizedly it would have only been late afternoon in Fiji, not at all Cooper’s usual bed-down-for-the-night time. I gave up. Drowsiness overcame me and I succumbed to sleep ahead of Cooper. Cooper may have finally fallen asleep by midnight, but I was no longer watching the clock by then. I periodically awoke in the night and checked that Cooper was still okay in the bed with me, which did not exactly make for a restful night’s sleep. I occasionally heard some restless Cooper noises but he pretty much stayed in dreamland for the rest of the night. I seemed have incorporated the word rest a lot in the past couples sentences, but rest assured I was already not getting enough rest.

When I awoke fairly close to my typical 7 am time, my late-to-bed grandson was still sound asleep. That gave me time to head downstairs and pay attention to my and Oliver’s morning needs and routine, all the while listening for Cooper stirring upstairs, and intermittently heading up to check on him.

I really hadn’t known in advance how the whole week would play out, but by Monday morning I realized it would be a pretty good idea to get some help with Cooper care, to give me time to get out of the house for necessities like food shopping and my pre-Thanksgiving hair appointment.

I sent a text to a local tenth grader who had pet sit for Oliver in September, and also babysat for my neighbors’ toddler.

“Hi Emma, let me know if you have any time after school this week to help me out with my 2 year-old grandson. Or even today.” Did I sound desperate?

I was thrilled to read Emma’s reply. “I will have time after school Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday this week.”

Since I was expecting family visitors all day Tuesday, I replied, “Great! Let’s plan for Wed & Friday afternoons.” And added, “Are you available this Sat from about 11 am to 2 pm?” as that was when my hair appointment was scheduled. Emma answered, “I can absolutely babysit then on Saturday.”

Some of you might remember an old TV commercial which asked, “How do you spell relief?” In this case, relief for me was a willing and able babysitter. Even though Jesse would likely be at home during the late afternoons and on Saturday, I knew I would be more comfortable leaving the house with a teenage babysitter attending to Cooper rather than Jesse on Cooper care all by himself. And I had already seen in previous family visits how Cooper loves the attention of older girls. What a flirt!