Post #13: How Nana survives Cooper care

(Pre-disclosure: this blog post is somewhat longer than prior ones, but I want to finish the story in this post. Feel free to take a blog break as you are read and come back later. Or just check out the many photos.)

So you read in Blog #12 how Nana and Papa (mostly Nana you realize) managed on our first day alone with 27-month old grandson Cooper at our home, with his mom having left for her week-long meeting.

Here’s how the rest of the week went.

After the first solo night with Cooper, which lasted way later into the night than I would have liked, I still awoke close to my usual 7 a.m.time. It was not surprising to find Cooper still fairly sound asleep as he did not finally wind down until after midnight. Before going downstairs I placed a gate across the top of the staircase in case Cooper might get out of bed without my hearing him and attempt to walk himself solo down the slippery wooden staircase. We happen to have a houseful of gates from longtime dog ownership.

And speaking of dogs, Oliver was ecstatic to see me in the morning, having been physically banned from upstairs overnight. Even though Oliver had his usual access to the ground floor master bedroom with Jesse, he had still whined for me when I bedded down on the second floor with Cooper. Not knowing how my two year-old English springer spaniel would behave in bed with a toddler or whether Oliver’s presence would encourage playtime for Cooper rather than bedtime, I had made the cautionary decision to separate us.

While I kept an attentive ear to any wakening noises from upstairs, I was glad to have some unencumbered time to tend to my usual morning activities before I would be fully and singularly focused on my active grandson. It was Monday morning and Jesse had left early for work as usual. In between making coffee, bathroom activities, dressing, making the bed, kitchen cleaning, straightening the toy-strewn family room, and checking e-mail, I popped upstairs every so often to ensure all was still quiet, until it wasn’t.

BATHING

Although Cooper wore night time diapers, which I even changed once in the night as Stacy had told me she usually did, dampness was seeping into his pajamas when he finally started rousing up in the morning. Since Cooper needed to be changed and dressed, this seemed like a good time to bathe him too. With so many other caretaking needs on Sunday, I had not bathed Cooper after our exhausting (for me) first day together. Stacy had told me that Cooper did not need to be bathed every day, but I did not want to go too long before immersing him for full body cleaning. I hurried to fill a bathtub at optimal toddler level and temperature. From what I had previously observed, Cooper liked bathing, especially playing with boats and bath toys. Unfortunately, Cooper was not a happy bather that morning and even the new sea creature bath toys did not cheer him. Maybe the morning hour or the colder air temperature was upsetting Cooper. But I was no more successful with providing happy bathing any time that week. And there never seemed to be an optimal time to bathe Cooper. Usually one of us was tired during the process. When I mentioned to Stacy about the bathing issues, she told me that Cooper had more recently become inexplicably bath-phobic. Well, I hadn’t gotten the memo about that, but I felt somewhat better about my low score on the bath happiness meter.

EATING

Fortunately, Cooper ate a wide range of healthy foods, but his relative hunger at any normal mealtime could not be predicted, likely due to adjusting to the large time zone difference. So I learned to present foods in small amounts. The quickly eaten foods got replaced with more. Yesterday’s favorites could be today’s rejects. I reverted to old kid standbys at lunch, like grilled cheese and peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, all cut into kid-size pieces. Cooper either ate his meals at the kitchen table enthroned on the borrowed booster seat, or just grazing around the family room in front of some favorite children’s show. Either way I had to separate Oliver from Cooper’s food, often by gating our whimpering dog out of the eating area. But in the end Oliver eventually benefitted from Cooper’s leftovers. When “yummy yummy” was requested at off-meal times, we had lots of snack options, alternating kid-preferred options like pretzels and goldfish crackers, with healthier food groups.

Grandson Cooper's food rejects are Oliver's treats

PLAYTIME

Stacy had highly recommended that Cooper get outside regularly to burn off his toddler energy. This seemed a lot like puppy care, of which I have had lots more recent experience. Looking longingly though our sliding glass doors, Cooper early and often announced “owl-sigh.” But it was November, with chilly damp mornings and we needed to wait for some warming & drying. Yet “owl-sigh” always beckoned. Cooper generally cooperated as I dressed him in all the necessary outerwear of sneakers, jacket, hat and gloves. Then he had to choose which of his little vehicles, from an increasing collection of planes, fire trucks and cars, to hold in each hand. And he typically wanted to take more handheld toys than I would prefer to keep track. I had been researching playgrounds nearby, but all that Cooper really wanted to do was “run, run, run,” which fortunately could be managed fairly safely along our private Nonesuch Road. Indeed, Cooper’s preference worked for me as I didn’t have to load him into the car and snugly buckle him into the child seat. And Oliver could also join our excursion and get his doggy exercise. Although Cooper might want to “run, run, run,” I knew better than to leave the house without the stroller. He might be initially full of energy, but I would not be physically able to carry home a wearying child as Stacy had done over the weekend.

So Cooper, Oliver and I all “ran, ran, ran” down the road, pausing as Cooper noticed something along the way. “Heavy!” Cooper exclaimed as he noticed a large trunk of a very tall tree. And I knew just what he meant. Cooper loved to throw rocks in the water, but when he tried to dislodge a large rock to throw, Stacy would tell him that rock was “too heavy.” For Cooper heavy meant big. So when Cooper saw other large objects, like trucks or boats or buildings, he often observed “heavy.” It was pretty funny to us, as we had not heard so many expressions of “heavy” since the 1970’s hippy era.

“Pyane, pyane,” Cooper often stopped and proclaimed. I soon learned what that meant too. Always excited to observe a plane in the sky, Cooper excitedly reacted to the sound of “pyane” engines overhead, almost always hearing them in advance of me. And Cooper usually saw the plane first too.

So where did we run too? Our road is adjacent to a school that has sports fields with bleachers, offering surprisingly good climbing opportunities for a toddler. And at the end of our private way is a brook leading to Nonesuch Pond, allowing for (not too heavy) rock throwing into the water. That’s about all an active toddler needs. All the while Oliver was getting his exercise too, running excitedly nearby Cooper but managing to avoid upending his new friend. When we were all worn out from the outing, the stroller was very much needed to return tiring Cooper to my house as I had predicted.

Dressed for chilly November weather, Cooper plays on the bleachers at the sports field near Nana's house

Sometimes when Cooper requested “owl-sigh,” I suggested we go “downstairs outside” to our finished basement where he could play with old cars and blocks saved from our own kids’ youth. Finally, my selective toy saving had paid off. Cooper enjoyed lining up the miniature cars and choosing his favorites, labeling them the daddy car, mommy car or baby car, depending on their relative size. “Taxi,” Cooper announced, when he balanced a block on top of a car, representing a sign on the taxi’s roof. Cooper loves to ride in taxis which are plentiful where he lives in Fiji’s capital city Suva.

Cooper playing "outside downstairs" (in the basement) with old cars and blocks

SCREEN TIME

While I thought I was caring very healthily for Cooper in the food department, I might not be able to say the same for screen time, that is, if one goes by the current guidelines of the American Pediatric Association. For children from 2 to 5 years the APA recommends limiting screen use to one hour per day. Seriously, who does that? Not even Cooper’s mom. And what’s a 67-year-old, first-time Nana to do every waking hour with her faraway-living grandson who has been dropped off at her house for a week of 24/7 toddler care?

In the morning I particularly liked to select my all-time favorite kids show, the both educational and entertaining, decades-running Sesame Street, as I had done with my children in the era way before on-demand television. The only way we had “on demand” then was when a show was presently “on” a station − then we could “demand” to watch it at that time. There was no recording the program, renting its videos, DVR, or hitting replay. The one feature I really could have used was “restart,” as young Stacy would become hysterical if she missed Sesame Street’s introductory song “Sunny Days.” I’m sure she can still sing all the words to this day.

Certainly, Cooper did not watch television all day but eventually we would need some chill-out or wind-down time, pre-meal, pre-nap or pre-bedtime. Knowing how much Cooper loves animated films, I had ordered Netflix to supplement our probably sufficient selection of kids offerings on cable TV. From the Netflix Kids section, Cooper could choose the program that he wanted to watch. He definitely had his favorites which included, but were not limited to, Moana, Puss in Boots, Shrek, Madagascar, Nemo, Dory, Cars, Pets and Sing. And I felt okay about depositing Cooper in front of the TV for a calming interlude as long as we had a significant amount of non-screen activities throughout the day. Please don’t report this Nana to the APA.

Cooper chillin' in the family room with a Netflix choice

FACETIME

At random days & times during the week, I would receive FaceTime calls from Cooper’s parents, either from Stacy at her meeting in Belize or Jason at home in Fiji. So while they were glad to hear me tell them how Cooper was doing, what they really wanted was to see and talk with their little son. That meant that I had to orient my Iphone so it reasonably captured Cooper for kid viewing and conversing. Not such an easy task, as I had to aim at a moving target, following Cooper around so his activities were visible to their mobile phones, and perhaps even get Cooper to converse with the caller. After an initial hello, Cooper was not particularly inclined to keep up a running conversation with either of his parents. But I felt obligated to point my phone in his direction for their absentee benefit for a reasonable amount of missing-Cooper time, until we arrived at the inevitable law of diminishing returns for toddler telephone time, and ended with Cooper’s sweet, well-polished sign-off: “Luv u Daddy” or “Luv u Mommy.”

VISITORS

Most certainly they were welcome. Most of the visiting family and friends were not going to catch up with elusive Stacy, but Cooper was the star of the show anyway. They all came bearing age-appropriate gifts, adding to the growing collection of Cooper toys and books in the family room, but more importantly they provided lots of fun and interaction excusing Nana temporarily from playtime choreography. So appreciated were the overnight family guests: cousin Claudia from Connecticut overlapped by Jesse’s sister Barbara and her daughter Abby from New York, all excellent children entertainers. Abby and Barbara gladly joined Cooper, Oliver and me on our daily “owl-sigh” adventure. I was happy to prepare meals for all in-house guests while they busily entertained our grandson, and glad to offer leftovers of my home-baked, family-favorite cheesecake which I had prepared for Stacy’s arrival.

Cooper had so much fun playing with cousin Abby and Aunt Barbara

After the overnight guests had gone, I gladly relied on babysitter Emma to entertain Cooper a few times while I left the house for marketing, manicure and hair appointments, in preparation for Thanksgiving.

SLEEPING

So as Stacy had done, I began sleeping at night with Cooper in the upstairs guest room, leaving Jesse and Oliver in our ground floor master bed. Even though I did not rush Cooper to bed, waiting until at least 9 pm, he still tended to rummage around for another three hours or so, way past my bedtime. One night I awoke to find him having surprisingly descended from the high queen–size bed and left the bedroom for the hallway. Leaving Cooper awake and alone to put himself to sleep did not seem to be an option. But when he fell asleep, usually winding down in the family room for naps or night time, I started carrying him upstairs to another bedroom with a lower sleeping couch, cozily prepared with marine design sheets from Stacy’s youthful bedroom. This is when I could have used an audio monitor. But in the absence of that, I just kept my ears peeled to any sound of toddler rousing. The first time I did this for the entire night, I was very vigilant. I put a gate across the top of the staircase, and checked on him periodically through the night. Although Cooper usually took a while to fall asleep, he seemed to be a fairly sound sleeper when he finally dozed off. So I felt fairly secure and pleased with this sleeping arrangement which got me back in my own bed.

SNOW!!

How exciting! We woke up on Friday morning to a few inches of November snow. What could be better for a kid from Fiji! Fortunately, Stacy had also brought along Cooper’s Wellies (rain boots). We had so much fun stomping through the snow, trying to build a snowman and running around with Oliver. The unseasonably cold weather even kept the ground snow-covered for a few days, allowing for multiple snowy outings.

Nana and Cooper playing in the snow

STACY’S RETURN

I was certainly getting into the routine of Cooper care, but by Saturday I was counting the hours for Stacy’s return that night. It had been a delightful but exhausting week. Of course, Cooper was thrilled to have Mommy home, and Nana was instantly relegated to second fiddle. And so was my routine. Stacy hurried to take Cooper outside early in the day when it was especially chilly, yet acquiescing to Cooper’s refusal to wear gloves. I am glad I was not outside to see him “run, run, run” down the road, tripping and landing on his bare hands, resulting in a quite distressing outing. I probably didn’t hold back from one of those “I told you so” moments.

So I didn’t mind when Stacy took Cooper to visit Boston area friends on Sunday and Monday. Their absence gave me some breathing space and time for advance Thanksgiving preparations and baking. But we had fun all together too. On Tuesday we went shopping at Target and saw the new Grinch movie. As Stacy said, “For Cooper it’s all about the popcorn.” But he seemed to enjoy the movie too, until he fell asleep.

On Wednesday we went to a morning toddler program at our town library, followed by a visit to Papa Jesse at his surgi-center. Having shown his staff photos for two years, Jesse was happy to present his grandson in person. Cooper got to be the center of attention at the staff lunch table. But Stacy, Cooper and I went to lunch at nearby Bertucci’s for pizza, another Cooper favorite.

Grandson Cooper visiting Papa Jesse at work

THANKGIVING was the finale of Stacy and Cooper’s visit, a warm and wonderful holiday attended by our family visiting from Connecticut: my brother David, sister-in-law Tracy, nephew Harley and niece Sophie. Tracy and I collaborated on the menu as we had done for the prior three Thanksgivings. As usual, Jesse was in charge of the fireplaces to provide the warm, wood-burning atmosphere in our home. Of course, Cooper was the star of the holiday. It very much warmed my heart to have my family visit with normally faraway Stacy and Cooper. We further solidified our family connection, FaceTime-ing with my sister Carol’s family. Just six months after Cooper was born, Carol and her husband David had become first-time grandparents to Madeline, daughter of their son Michael and his wife Karen.

With Thanksgiving coming at the tail end of two busy weeks of grandson care and house guests, I had smartly hired a service helper. It was an excellent decision. Ivy, whom I had previously employed for larger events, was a self-starter who encouraged me to enjoy my guests and left me a refrigerator full of wrapped leftovers and a completely clean kitchen.

And on Friday all the guests departed. Was I sorry to see Stacy and Cooper leave? Not really. It had been a very special two weeks of Nana-grandson bonding. But by the end of the visit, culminating in Thanksgiving hosting, I was quite worn out. I was not unhappy to be left alone with Jesse, Oliver and the leftovers. But as I straightened the house and returned it to pre-Cooper organization, I also reflected on a most wonderful collection of memories, many photographically recorded. Thank-you Stacy for the Nana experiences, and bringing Cooper half-way round the world to celebrate a New England Thanksgiving, Jupiter-style.

Family at Thanksgiving