Post #17: Real Concerns for a Virtual Shower

July 2016

While Stacy’s baby shower may have originated virtually online, the enormous quantity of packages that arrived to my house were real and voluminous. When Jesse and I returned from our three week European trip, we came home to a huge tower of Amazon packages constructed by our house/pet sitter in the middle of our living room -- and it was even more scary than the assortment of gifts that had arrived prior to our trip departure, both for the quantity and potential precariousness of the tower.

Precarious package tower of baby shower gifts in Nana's living room.

Trying to catch up and re-group on the home front, I avoided the tower for about a week to be able to deal with the logistics of the contents without jet-lag, as I would need all my spacial relations wits to do so. And during that time period, we received this important email from Stacy:

“Hi Mom and Dad,

I had a visit with my OB today who thinks that it is a good idea to book me in a bit before my due date to induce labor, given the risks associated with my age [40] and because the baby is already pretty big now. So they are scheduling me to go to the hospital on the evening of August 14 for delivery on August 15. She explained everything to me and it seems like a good idea, assuming I don’t go into spontaneous labor beforehand. I will go back for another visit with her in 2 weeks and then the following week she’ll do an exam to see how my cervix is going [Aussies say “going” rather than American “doing”] and if everything looks good we’ll proceed according to this plan. Just keeping you posted. All well otherwise.”

Jesse immediately emailed me, “OMG.” He was finally getting the hang of cyber-speak.

I e-replied to Stacy, “Well, now you not only know your baby’s gender and name in advance, you know his probable birth date. That said, I hope you are still OK with my arrival on Aug 11 and Dad on Aug 21 (he is OK about coming after Cooper’s birth).

Xoxo mom”

So now there was even more reason for me to get busy on the tangible results of the virtual shower. When I finally tackled the packages, I tingled with excitement at all adorable and practical baby paraphernalia. I printed out Stacy's delivery list and sorted the gifts into separate piles: those that needed to accompany me to Australia to hopefully arrive pre-baby and those that could accompany Jesse who would likely be arriving after our grandson appeared.

I opened the largest packages last as they scared me the most, as I wondered how we would transport everything. The two biggest boxes contained the jogging stroller and the coordinating car seat. Stacy had insisted that these had to arrive before the baby, so they would need to travel with me. Regular FinallyNana readers might recall from a prior blog that Stacy refused my suggestion to alternatively purchase these unwieldy necessities in Australia because she had spent much time researching exactly what she wanted and did not want to repeat that time-consuming endeavor for commodities on a different continent. So I could not rationally pursue that line of argument with my emotionally labile, pregnant daughter.

To try to figure out this transportation puzzle, I began by looking up the baggage allowances for our flights. Although I read that a passenger can take a stroller and car seat for no extra charge, there was a slight catch. The passenger has to be traveling with the infant who would need the stroller and car seat. That was not happening, so back to the drawing board.

Very fortunately, Jesse and I had business class tickets and high flyer status on our airlines, so we could check three bags without charge. The bags are subject, however, to weight and size limitations. I had already planned to bring one piece of luggage with my belongings and another piece of luggage with baby needs. I measured the unopened stroller box, which further worried me because it indicated assembly required. The cumulative box dimensions were somewhat larger than airline allowances. Meanwhile, I would still need to bring the car seat.

I concluded that it might be best to ship the jogging stroller ahead in its original packing box, and bring the car seat with me. I researched various shipping options and none were any less than $400! That was more than twice Amazon charges to ship the stroller directly to Australia. So I returned the first stroller to Amazon for a refund and ordered a second one to be sent directly to Stacy in Brisbane at the "minor" cost of $188. Fortunately, it arrived in early August as promised. And assembly would be Stacy and Jason’s concern, not mine.

That solved the stroller delivery problem, but I was far from figuring out transport of the other gifts, especially the large car seat that coordinates with the stroller. In another Skype conversation with Stacy, she concluded that everything should be brought to Brisbane, rather than shipping any items to Fiji. That was a relief to me, having already observed that the costs for international shipping were quite high. And furthermore, that would be one less issue for me to continue researching.

So that left me to sort the items into those which I would bring to Brisbane and the remaining which Jesse would cart with him. I also reviewed our luggage and duffel bags at home to see which we could use and ultimately donate to Stacy, finding a large roller board and one old duffel. I measured the largest gift items to ascertain how to pack them, and concluded that I would need a large protective duffel for the car seat, and we would need another long duffel to fit the dimensions of the infant bouncy seat. Everything else could probably fit around those items, based on urgency of delivery.

With dimensions in hand and largest items in my car for trial positioning, I embarked on a duffel shopping expedition. I successfully located and purchased a long and fairly inexpensive duffel at Target, and found a sturdy and more expensive North Face duffel at REI.

I was relieved to have acquired all the luggage to hold all the gifts, and managed to get them all sorted and packed, ensuring any fragile items were protectively positioned. The car seat was the most complicated, a two-part affair whose base component had to be placed in the roller board.

Four pieces of luggage meticulously packed with baby shower gifts

Even though I am a frequent traveler, I am still a meticulous packer of my own belongings. But this time my personal packing, while still thoughtful, took a backseat to the baby gifts. Aware that I would be connecting to an Australian domestic flight in coach class, I paid advance fees online for extra baggage to minimize costs and potential hassles upon Australia arrival in my anticipated jet-lagged condition. And I am happy to report that all that advance research, planning, packing and portaging paid off. The bags all arrived without a hitch, from checking all three at United Airlines in Boston on Tuesday, August 9 (Jesse, who had an early-finishing work day, drove me to the airport, helping with bringing bags to counter), their being automatically transferred in San Francisco to my Sydney flight, my picking up all three bags in Sydney and not being questioned at customs entry with my large load (although I was certainly ready with the new grandma explanation had I been detained), transferring them to Virgin Australia for my Brisbane flight, and re-claiming all bags in Brisbane, loading them precariously onto a luggage cart to locate a taxi for final transfer to our residence at Inn on the Park.

Meanwhile, that whole process in Sydney also included a jet-lagged transaction at a Vodaphone kiosk for the purchase of a fairly inexpensive Aussie smartphone and use plan before transferring from the international to the domestic airport, per prior instructions from Stacy. We had concluded that would be the more economical and practical way for me to have cell phone capability in Brisbane rather than using my US mobile phone internationally. The mobile phone purchase then enabled me to call Stacy to let her know I was on my way as scheduled. Nana had landed.

So about noon on Thursday, August 11, I arrived with at least half of the virtual shower gifts and other deemed necessities and un-obtainables that Stacy had previously ordered and shipped to our Weston home. A few days earlier Stacy had moved from her comfortable one-bedroom residence where she had been living for 5 weeks to a previously reserved 2+ bedroom apartment for all of us, also at Inn on the Park. At 8 & 1/2 months pregnant, she had wisely requested help from a friend to move her belongings that afternoon. But the apartment availability was delayed until evening when the friend was no longer available. When I had spoken to her at that time, she was exhausted, upset with the looks and noisier location of the bigger apartment which also had a wet floor from a leaking washing machine, and no coffee maker.

"I know you'll hate this apartment," said a very depressed-sounding Stacy. I felt so bad for her, having moved to seemingly unpleasant surroundings in her late state of pregnancy. That also worried me since we already knew we would be in close quarters.

"What about asking the management if there's a different apartment?" I suggested. That did not go over so well.

"I just unpacked and put everything away," Stacy said wearily, "and I don't want to do that again. Anyway, it's Sunday and no one's even around."

In my best mother-to-the-rescue voice, I said, "Well, I have no problem speaking to the management when I arrive, if problems are persisting. We are paying a lot of money for the rental." A cost I intended to split with her.

On Monday the leak was fixed and Stacy bought a French press coffee pot. Jason, who had been working in Suva throughout Stacy's initial stay in Brisbane, had arrived Wednesday night. But I still did not know exactly what to expect upon my arrival regarding the living situation we would all be sharing for the next several weeks.

I arrived by taxi from the Brisbane Airport to the modern-looking Inn on the Park entryway in the attractive Brisbane neighborhood of Toowong, pleasantly located nearby the river and its parallel walkways. Jason greeted me at the entrance to relieve me of my heavy load of luggage. We proceeded to their conveniently accessed, first floor apartment where a large and lumbering Stacy met me with smiles and hugs. I surveyed a clean modern but basic and shadowy apartment with open common areas of galley kitchen, adjacent dining table, and main socializing space of black leather couches set up for TV viewing as well as desk space that Stacy had rightly claimed.

Very pregnant Stacy and Jason in our Inn on the Park apartment in Brisbane

Sliding doors led to a spacious ground floor patio offering a furnished option for outdoor dining, which was commonly visited by local wild turkey, squawking and pecking nearby. Stacy & Jason were installed in the large bedroom with queen-size bed, two closets and interior bathroom with shower stall. Stacy had also set up in their bedroom a small bassinet (awww) loaned to her by friends. My designated bedroom had two twin beds (with the management offer to combine them into one bed) and reasonable closet space; however, the "wall" between my bedroom and the common room was predominantly louvered shutters, which could be lacking in privacy. Instead of the advertised "study" there was a third and smaller bedroom also furnished with twin beds and louvered shutters, which predominantly was used for the voluminous baby paraphernalia storage. A utility hall contained the laundry facilities and second bathroom which I would use and also share with Stacy who found its bathtub soothing for soaking her well-advanced pregnant body.

The decor and furnishings throughout were functional although not especially attractive, and according to Stacy, compared poorly to other units which she had previously rented at Inn on the Park when prior work had brought her to Brisbane. I tried to look on the bright side, focusing on easy ground floor access, sunny outdoor patio, reasonably spacious inside, and fine neighborhood location. Jason had already assembled the jogging stroller. And I had successfully arrived with all the infant gifts and necessities that I had meticulously organized for international travel. Nana was in the house!