Post #22: Still the Beginning

Stacy was indeed enthralled with her new maternal status but a few issues were impinging on her total enjoyment. Of course, lack of sleep now that Cooper was more active, having recuperated from his birthing journey and any residual anesthesia which may have slipped through the umbilical cord. Breastfeeding was not going as easily as hoped for, with latching on issues, especially on one side, and Cooper’s not seeming to suck out enough milk to satisfy him while still managing to give Stacy sore nipples. Stacy started with a manual beast pump but very soon decided an electric one would be more efficient. So we returned to the Wesley Hospital store to purchase a new apparatus. Expensive, yes, but Nana came to the financial rescue. Pumping milk would ensure that Jason could handle some mid-night feeding episodes and others could assist during the day when Stacy tried to catch up on sleep. We also bought some more breast cream to soothe the over-munched nipples.

New mom Stacy got some positioning and other advice at a hospital-sponsored lactation appointment. And a visiting nurse, who came to check on the new family and weighed baby Cooper, recommended supplementing with formula. So Stacy sent me off to the market to buy some, another new shopping experience for me as I had only fed breast milk until my pediatrician allowed cow’s milk. Jason and Stacy became experts at mixing up formula and sanitizing bottles in boiling water.

Further complicating breastfeeding was an inexplicable aching that Stacy developed in her left shoulder and arm, which was painful at use, especially when holding the baby, and breastfeeding on that side, etc. The pain seemed to be coming from an irritated or inflamed nerve. We could only guess that this condition had developed from some awkward positioning during childbirth while under anesthesia. Regardless of origin, it was horribly frustrating, upsetting and exhausting for Stacy. So Jesse arranged through his worldwide medical connections an appointment with a local orthopaedist. But there was no easy fix for this condition. Stacy was referred to a physical therapist who recommended some potentially healing exercises. Unfortunately, Stacy could not take high doses of anti-inflammatory medication while nursing. However, she did find that she was less uncomfortable by lying down to nurse on her left side. The Boppy pillow continued be an excellent aide for re-positioning for nursing.

Stacy supporting newborn Cooper with the Boppy pillow

It was difficult for me as a mother and new grandmother to watch my daughter struggling with her best efforts to be a new mom while distressingly beset with problems. Breastfeeding had gone fairly well for me with nursing my firstborn, so much so that I rarely gave baby Stacy any bottles. By the time I wanted to substitute bottle-feeding, baby Stacy was reluctant to drink from them and I rarely had any feeding relief for her first several months. I nursed her for six months until she seemed too busy looking around at her world to complete a feeding in a timely manner and also could hold a bottle of milk on her own.

I was anticipating a similarly easy nursing experience when baby Benjy came along but he turned out to be a more ravenous eater who sucked harder on my breasts. And perhaps my skin was more dry overall, having given birth to Benjy in April after a typically long, cold, dry Boston winter (compared to Stacy’s October birth at summer’s conclusion). In short order my nipples were sore, blistered and cracked, and the only solution was to temporarily stop breastfeeding to allow healing. But how long would that take? I was very worried that I would not be able to continue nursing baby Benjy at all. My obstetrician recommended Eucerin cream, for which I sent my parents to purchase at the pharmacy as well as a breast pump to be able to manually express milk for bottle-feeding. The thick rich Eucerin cream made from Lanolin from sheep oils was pungent but effective but weirdly pungent. Getting baby Benjy accustomed to bottle-feeding early on because of the nursing problem had a positive side effect: he could be reliably bottle fed by others, relieving me as needed. In a week or so I was healed and able to resume nursing, while taking better maintenance care of my feeding nipples.

Nevertheless, it pained me to see Stacy having nursing problems as I was highly supportive of breastfeeding for its overall wellbeing for both baby and mother. Human mother’s milk is evolutionarily suited to feeding human babies and providing initial immunities from disease. The nursing experience creates a loving bonding relationship between mother and child. And as an extra bonus breastfeeding is helpful in returning a mother to her pre-pregnancy body shape. Oxytocin produced through breastfeeding contributes to contracting the uterus while the extra calories needed to produce milk help to burn off mother’s body fat. I was never the type of enviable woman who was back to her original body shape in six weeks, but after nursing each of my babies for six months my body weight agreeably dipped lower than pre-pregnancy poundage. Experiencing a fairly easy weight loss from nursing my first child, I did not particularly try to restrict my pregnancy weight gain with number two.

Meanwhile, once life had settled into some semblance of a routine back at the Inn on the Park, Stacy called the office of her obstetrician to make a follow-up appointment. She was surprised to learn that Dr. Wai had gone on vacation shortly after Cooper’s birth. That was curious, and led me to wonder whether Dr. Wai’s suggestion to schedule the induction a week ahead of Stacy’s due date was related to her anticipated vacation schedule. Admittedly, Stacy was glad to expedite Cooper’s birth so she could more efficiently prepare for their return to Fiji. Yet I could not help wonder whether the inducement appointment, supposedly in Stacy’s best health interest, was more expeditious for her OB’s schedule, and perhaps was instrumental in the intense labor and subsequent Caesarean delivery. But of course, we would never know what Stacy’s labor would have been like had it evolved naturally.

More visitors came to meet Cooper, bearing baby gifts and treated to Jason’s wonderfully prepared foods. They included Stacy’s Brisbane friends in the marine bio community, Stacy’s childhood friend Sharon who has been living in the Sydney area for years, and the wife of Jesse’s Brisbane orthopaedic colleague. Also Jason’s uncle Arthur and his lady friend drove up the Australian coast from several hours away. Before Uncle Arthur’s visit, I had heard about Jason’s closeness to his mother’s brother. Uncle Arthur’s home had been teenage Jason’s go-to runaway sanctuary when Jason had issues on the home front. And more recently and before moving to Fiji, Jason and Arthur had been renting a house together in Darwin. The Uncle Arthur that I met seemed like a kindly but quirky character, a low talker with a scruffy twisted beard attired in suspenders over a boldly colorful shirt. I could hardly understand half of Arthur’s speech which was strongly Aussie accented while still very soft-spoken. Had Jesse, whose hearing is somewhat diminished lately, still been in Brisbane, I doubt that he would have been able to understand most of Arthur’s remarks.

One critical task that Stacy and Jason had to complete was obtaining a passport for baby Cooper, to be able to bring him back to Fiji. One cannot just deliver a baby in Australia and take him out of the country without proper documentation. As is the case with any person, passport applications require a valid birth certificate and photograph. Everything needed to be expedited if the happy family of three were to be able to return to Fiji together as pre-booked for September 9. So Stacy and Jason went to a local courthouse to first apply for an official birth certificate. It crossed both their minds that while they were doing courthouse business, they might consider expediting a marriage as well. But both agreed to attend to that at some later date and place, yet to be determined.

Once the birth certificate was obtained, the next step was getting an official photo of baby Cooper, only a couple weeks old. The passport photographer placed Cooper face front, comfortably on a pillow, which instantaneously caused him to doze off, creating a photographic challenge to obtain the required head shot with eyes open. But eventually they obtained a photo which appeared to meet the passport specifications. Curiously, this passport would be valid for five years, although the photo might not look much like Cooper in five weeks and certainly minimally by five months.

Stacy also had to ensure that they included baby Cooper on their airline booking, with a ten percent infant surcharge even though they would not be buying a seat for him. And of course they would have to bring home all the baby paraphernalia, most of which Jesse and I had shlepped to Brisbane. Well, at least a stroller could be checked free of charge since they were traveling with an infant. Nevertheless, they ended up having some large excess baggage fees.

We were all still in Brisbane on the first Sunday of September which is Father’s Day in Australia. That gave us a chance to celebrate Jason’s first Father’s Day together. I was looking online for an appropriate T-shirt for him but only found an ideal one for Jesse. It had the recognizable logo of The Godfather movie but “The Grandfather” was printed on it instead. That was perfect for Jesse who adores The Godfather trilogy of movies and re-watches the films anytime he notices them on television.

Papa Jesse wearing his new T-shirt: The Grandfather

But I still needed to find a gift for Jason, so I did some mall searching. I found some shorts with an octopus design, which seemed appropriate as they were still referring to Cooper as the kraken during his fussy periods. Meanwhile Stacy managed to create a photo book of Cooper’s early existence during her sleep-deprived nights, and ordered copies of her sweet documentary creation for both first-time dad Jason and first-time granddad Jesse.

When Jesse left to go home on that Sunday, we vacated the upstairs apartment and I moved back in with Stacy’s family. Having moved upstairs while Jesse was in Brisbane, I had never been on any night duty. The least I could do was offer to babysit one night so the new parents could enjoy a dinner out together. So they took me up on my offer on Monday night, my last night in Brisbane. I felt pretty confident about babysitting as I had learned enough of the baby routine of rocking, feeding, burping, diaper changing, etc. And for my own dinner there were plenty of leftovers from all Jason’s meal preparations, and just enough wine to take the edge off but still be sharp for child care contingencies. Cooper and I did just fine, fortunately.

Nana Beryl feeding infant Cooper

Tuesday, September 6 was my departure date. I had been gone from my home for four full weeks, the longest I had ever been away from my own personal residence continuously. I had a wonderful time being with Stacy for the birth of her child and meeting my grandson Cooper right from the very start, and getting to know, up close and personal, Stacy’s loving partner Jason. I did not seem to have alienated either Stacy or Jason by my remarks, suggestions or re-telling memories of my experiences as a young mother. But I was definitely ready to go home.

The happy family: Stacy, Jason and baby Cooper

Yet many family and friends remarked on my return, “You must miss them now.”

“Not really,” I replied the same answer to any who asked. “It was just the right amount of time to be there for Cooper’s birth and be supportive of Stacy and Jason. But it was time for me to go home.”

Anyway I was all ready planning for a long visit to Fiji for the year-end holidays to get my Nana fix.